THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE FAM

I've been back in LA now for about a minute and a 1/2. Before I left Seattle (I go 2 skool there), everybody was asking what are u gonna do? what are u gonna do?
And I told them every time I'm goin 2 Church- where i can get help at, where I can get the word in, where I just feel accepted and comfortable at.

Yes..the SLAUGHTERHOUSE MINISTRIES... I just wanna say Thank you God bc Ive found my spiritual family. It's just been 6 months since I got saved by the church back in January. And just last Friday (6.11.10) I got baptized! It's been a blessing and I feel the Holy Spirit upon me- a soft, tender spot in my chest- yoo...it's been pulling on me ever since... & I have been able to take Krumpin to a whole other level. and not just dancing but everything as a matter of fact. Like there is no longer static when I am tuning in2 the holy spirit. Feel me?
Now The best thing about church is that it is not just a building. We ARE the church and we uphold it everywhere we go with iron fists and a sharp double-edged sword. It's never just in the Nehemaiah Church building we praise dance/sing, pray, minister, and show that unconditional love 4 for each other, but EVERY WHERE WE GO! and so I've been kicken it with the fam everyday ever since I got here and its been just one great big adventure filling ourselves up with the word of God and going all around the city applying it. Men of God- so many missions, and a lotta fun 2. These are the good times and I feel completely blessed to with the slaughterhouse Fam. I always have my brothers and the word of God to lift me back up and regain and strengthen my composure whenever I fall down or feel heavy...2 nite for example. Thank you Hezekiah my brotha in Christ!

It's late so ima bout to go outro, but I'm just excited for 2moro that I'm gonna be at it again with the fam. Slayer (my pastor/mentor) told me 2 be like a desperate man hungry 4 the word, so I'm directing my vision and focus towards getting the word in and becoming closer 2 mr. G-O-D. I only have 9 more days in LA. Gotta get it in, I am hungry, Gotta get it in.

Much Love to whoever is reading this. lol..Stay Up!

Love After the Storm

There was once something that was so sincere,

& Unconditional like looking straight into those eyes,

And saying without words, Baby, I love you, no false gimmicks and no mistrusted lies

Strengthened ties, as the true intentions of Heart drew us near,

We learned there was no longer anything to fear

I testify that in being with you, there was nothing to hide

You took me for who I was,

And for that the journey never died

Love was day in and day out,

But never played out

See, you and me was a “WE,”

And the love was mob deep,

Further then just any ONE can see

Love

Beautified through Life’s rhythm and rhyme,

Strengthened and renewed through the seasons of time

Tested through those times of cold winter snow and hail

Broken and dropped like the fall of autumn leaves frail

And picked up, blossomed through spring showers,

With fresh scents of renewal giving off these strange powers

Endured, cherished, and peaking at summer’s warmth here on till thereafter

Clear skies, SUN SHINING, paradise

Purple Rain burning up on the surface of love’s reminiscence and forever-after

This story was timeless, destined to continue till the morrows of to infinity and beyond the comprehension of a bystander observing from a point where there simply is no justice in context of truth and its all too often obscured light.

…The fact of the matter is that this thing we had was beautiful in all contexts and extremities to you and sincerely yours, I, myself who once wished upon a star to attain something as grand as this. But the circumstances had changed. Your light was lost, stolen somewhere in the midst of night. And solitude I tried to fight, praying that you just might come back to me- To heal my lonely sight.

…

A battle I fought for what seemed like an eternity.

Because time slows as the pendulum is at a loss for energy

Bawled up letters, crossed out poems,

A halt for the progress of wonder and adventure,

Both lost to the tides of affectionate surrender.

It is thou who I have put mine life on hold for.

Yet my heart lies like a broken mirror on the ground scattered to a million pieces,

Reflections of abuse and ignorance shown on my heart in permanent creases

& What was I to do?

A storm unrelenting of bittersweet, mixed, and flooded feelings, decisions, thoughts, and emotions,

To I, and to anyone sane, all overly whelming.

A was telling me to quit.

B was telling me 2 merely wait for the second coming of your arrival.

C was saying No, you must fight for love’s survival.

B overpowered A, but C ousted B and was pronounced Greatest.

I step outside…

And the rain comes pouring down on me- heavy tear drops pulsating on my chest. I run around in it for a while. Lost in the midst of my despair, frustrations, and ANGER. I collapse to the floor- splatter the evidence- an outpouring of immense out crying; bursts of accumulated emotion scatter a million fold all around my body, my entity, my being, my soul.

And under the rain I laid for a while on the ground, down

The storm eventually calmed, letting my feelings drown

Light Raindrops fell down upon me gracefully, and what was upon me was truly Love’s crown,

For I swear I saw the seasons change,

A metaphorical change of gloom to the bloom to the BOOM of reminiscence!

Charged down upon my body, my being

For in those drops’ reflections it was a certain past love I was seeing

But in the final ultimatum overwhelmingly uplifting change that I was foreseeing

The sun came out and I knew not to wait any longer

Got up and walked away with a perception fonder and in yonder,

I know I will never see you again

But placed within me is the will to start a new chapter in my life and so I could begin

This new journey of empty moments and feelings for affection I will fill in

And to this day I hold you in sweet remembrance

The omega of my life that showed me the beauty of all four seasons

Ultimately the abundance of love’s boundless, timeless reasons

And in the daily reminders of this revelation,

My spirit is left soaring at sky-scraping elevation

Because contained within me is the Love after the Storm

Both enabling and urging this more profound form

2.19.10

-Michael

Will Smith- Running and Reading

I came upon this 2 min. video about two years ago. What Will Smith says about the two things key to life has always stuck with me. Hopefully, you the viewer, can connect with what he says as well in one way or another.

These are the keys to LIFE. In my eyes, the keys to the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEMEBBwO6J8&feature=PlayList&p=C7FE1B6BEA98148F&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=3

Waddup y'all,
I was contemplating for some time whether I should put this poem up or not. Thinking, would people just label me weak? Call me "MR. SENSITIVE?!?!"
hahaa.. well that don't matter 2 me. I'ma just be real.


So on a reeaaaal deep note..

Alone Time

No one has ever seen what exists deep down in my soul
One cannot fathom the feelings of loneliness that make my thoughts dull
Feelings of hurt and being outcast mark my days daily
Causing an eternal cry for help, “Please Save Me”
There are certain things that I just cannot tell
Fear of rejection and separation I can foretell
I’d hate for you to see me so weak
So I lock myself in my place of solitude
And from time to time I weep
Tears of confusion and abandon permeate so deep
I wonder if I can ever escape out of this prison of confinement
And let go of these feelings of eternal lament
Constantly I yearn for somebody
To just hear me out
But for now it is just me
And no one else

11.22.2009

*AFTERNOTE! ...9.10.2010
CHECK IT OUT. FOUND GOD THE NITE OF NOVEMBER 27. 2009 @ SLAUGHTERHOUSE MINISTRIES. SAVED DURING WINTER BREAK. BAPTIZED 7.11.10. STRENGTHENING MY WALK NOW WITH EVERY STEP AS I REALIZE IT'S HIM UP ABOVE I NEED 2 BE WITH. SO THIS POEM I WROTE BACK IN NOVEMBER LAST YEAR WAS BEFORE I GOT SAVED. & SO I HAD NO ONE 2 REALLY LEAN ON B4 THAT TIME TO HEAR ME OUT FOREAL. SINCE I GOT SAVED, I'VE BEEN POURING OUT TO HIM EVER SINCE. TALKING BOUT MY STRUGGLES MY PAINS LOWS, ...TRIUMPHS, HIGHS AND BUILDING THAT RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. I'VE BEEN ABLE 2 COME FORTH THRU TESTIMONY AND EXPUNGE THAT SPIRIT OF FEAR FROM WITHIN 2 A SPIRIT OF LOVE. & GOD LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM FOREAL. NOW THAT I'M FELLOWSHIPIN WITH GOD AND HAVE A CHURCH HOME AND A FAMILY IN THAT, I AM WALKING IN A NEW PURPOSE. I HAVE FAITH IN HIM HE IS ABLE- GOD CAN. HE SAVED ME TOOK ME FROM BEING LOST 2 HAVING A PURPOSE..TRUE INTENT OF HEART. & EVEN AS I FACE NEWER, AND UPDATED STRUGGLES AND DEVILS IN MY LIFE I KNO I CAN ALWAYS LOOK TO JESUS AS MY SAVIOR SO CHRIST UP! I WANT TO SPREAD THE NEWS ABOUT HIM. DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL ME SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT HIM. AMEN.

Gospel: One night i will never forget in LA

Last Friday night was one of those nights I will never forget. I was in LA for thanksgiving so of course, I was visiting the fam. I was able to kick it with my homie, Maurice, and Tara, Leah, and of course my brother 4 life, Allah, at 3rd street and Venice beach boardwalk- my two favorite places 2 be in LA.


My favorite bboys of 3rd street promenade. They do their own thing... dancing with passion- to express, entertain... n support themselves n their loved ones of course! lol


@ Venice Beach


Luvin' it...

So afterwards, me and Allah went over to Rob's place and kicked it there for a cool minute. Then it was me, Allah, Rob, Ra'shee, Jodie (Steez) on our way to church. We were bumpin "Melodies From Heaven" on our way over and having a good time singing and clapping along to the music. Then we were at our location: Slaughterhouse Ministries, a church in Compton- what one might call a "Ghetto Gospel". This was the first time I had been to church in about 8 years, nonetheless a gospel so I was especially excited about being there. I wanted to know what being religious and "loving God" was all about. hahaa. Let me explain. For most of my life, I had never been religious... but still believed in a lot of the things these different religions preached.


The car ride over... Steez, me, an Allah

What happened at the church I will ALWAYS keep in remembrance and close to my heart. We read testaments from the bible with the preachers doing active, improvisational interpretations of those sections on the spot. I was impressed by how much the preachers knew and understood the bible and how they were able to apply their own twist to it from their own experience. They were real with it- no gimmicks, no facade. Never were they reading just directly out of the book. They brought truth to the reading- interpretated the bible in a way everybody in the sermon could relate to.

We were also given a time where we could speak to everybody else in the room about anything we wished we needed to say- such as being thankful for being in this place or certain problems and tribulations we were dealt with. Everybody that spoke was REAL. Talked straight from the soul- speaking about their struggles, triumphs, and insight to this world. About 3/4 of us went up to share something- including my brother, Allah. I didn't go up myself. Perhaps I was too shy or just didn't have anything to say at the time- I don't remember. But i was just taken aback by all the stories that were told. The atmosphere that was created enabled everybody to connect together in a spiritual way and allow us to deal with our problems as a whole.

Then came the part where many of us stepped to the front. One by one, the preachers started coming up to us... placing their hands on our foreheads, looking deep into our soul, communicating our problems, and offering solutions/fixes. I was one of the first that the preachers consoled to. This particular experience I will never forget. Its like he knew everything about me. Everything he spoke to me about was right- all the problems I was having in my life at the time. I was touched. And I felt that this preacher could relate to and connect with my soul. The preachers went up to everybody else... of all ages... from teenagers to grown adults. I saw so many cry out tears of pain... acceptance... understanding... and ultimately, revelation. I saw so many bawling, screaming out, falling to the ground. These are people that I'd thought I'd never see cry, including some of my friends. This was all so emotional... and REAL. I will never forget this.

At the end, I was given the opportunity to be baptized. I was highly considering doing it, but it was just my first time at church and in the hands of God. These feelings that were running through my mind, body, and soul were all so overwhelming at the time. I'd have to go back to consider being baptized again. But for now, I am very appreciative of the fact that I was able to be in church. This was a true revelation for me. Perhaps one of the most important nights of my life.

I believe that through church, I gained a stronger connection to my friends, most especially to one of my best friends, Allah. He allowed me the experience to come up to this church- to open my heart and soul out to the world. To become vulnerable, yet immensely powerful in knowing that I am not alone. I have my people. I have my best friend. I have God. Me n Allah, we are both in this journey called Life together. Brothers.




The Fam... Brandyn, Rob, Ra'shee, Allah

Alrite, now on a final sketch...

Ghetto Gospel

It was my turn
The preacher directed his vision into my eyes
Into his own I could see a million stories unfold
Stories of pain, hurt, confusion, sorrow, loss
Stories that were both originally his own and
Stories that became his own from those lives he had touched
He paused for a moment’s time
Peering into my own soul
And an outpour of truth flooded out
He spoke
Spoke in a calm, collected way
Spoke of the conflicts, troubles in my life
Spoke of the two forces ripping me apart from both ends
The forces of what I want to do and what I should do
Spoke of family- disconnect, sorrow, loneliness
Spoke of reality and what I was given to dealt with
He placed both hands on my forehead
Pushing, pushing
Sharing with me his strength and confidence
His will
Immense feelings of relief and gratitude overwhelmed me
This was somebody I could trust
Somebody that understood the true nature of sorrow,
The trials and tribulations
Somebody that would help guide me spiritually
And enable me to reach a higher state of being
Somebody I have never met before
Yet could say a thousand words about me in an instant’s time
Someone that had left me vulnerable,
Yet consolable
Weak,
Yet mighty
Nothing kept shut in the darkness of Night
Strength depicted through the truth of eternal Light


12.2.2009

My first music video: Dream America in Context!

Hey y'all,

Thought I'd show you what I had been working tirelessly over for the past week. It's a music video to the song "I have a Dream" by Common ft. Will.I.Am. This is something I did for my English 131 class, visually communicating my concept of what my Dream America is in the context of reality.

Enjoy. Please don't hesitate to leave me feedback! Positive or negative, I will build off of it. =]

-Mike

Misfits n Outkasts...

So, I decided to get a lil deep in this one poem rite here. This is for all those who understand what it is to feel like the "outkast".
Enjoy!

Insecurity

When you R insecure n afraid
The teacher asks a question n you keep your hands tucked
You try to say something but the fear is deafening
When you have no one on your side, you R unsure
Most times you find you gotta change what you have to say
Re-write the content, the structure, and the lines in between
Possible conversations turn into bawled up letters
Poems re-written, tossed, and NEVER shown to others
You try to be- but you can’t
For fear of what is real to you is just weird to others
You can’t find a common ground with those around you
So you choose to escape in the depths of your own world and inner solitude
& the problem in this situation is that with going solo
Is that your confidence is projected at a constant all-time low
In this world where it seems that no one can quite understand you
Where it is hard to find anybody like you who you can relate 2
You try to escape
But the backdoor isn’t there
…
Use the frontdoor.

11.22.2009